"Inspired" by Hollywood's The Wedding Singer, K. Murali Mohan Rao (of Bandhan "fame") fails at his attempt to make a film even close to tolerable, forget a potential hit. Kahin Pyaar Na Ho Jaaye is what I would definitely call a waste of one dollar for rental, and I am not one to be kanjoos (cheap). With a starcast full of known yet not exactly crowd-drawing names (Sallu, Rani, Jackie, Raveena, Kashmira, Pooja Batra, and not to forget the hottie Inder Kumar as our precious paindu "N.R.I."), one would think that among all of them, perhaps they, all together, would add up to the talent ability of Anil Kapoor (maybe, just maybe), and clothing-wise (taking Sallu, Rani, Kash, Pooja and Raveena into account), add up enough clothing for an outfit for Aamir (just barely, and only because Aamir is short and on the slight side). I am excited now....
Salman Khan plays Adam "Prem" Sandler, the poor weddng singer who plays at other people's weddings to make money yet just can't hit the right note in his own love life. His small family consists of his sister Neelu (Kashmira Shah) and bhai-in-law (Mohnish Behl). Think about their acting ability and demand in Bollywood and you'll understand his family fairly well. Nisha (Ravs) plays Prem's love, a poor girl who he is engaged to. As fate has it, Nisha's bhai is terribly ill with cancer and his treatment requires a plethora of money that neither one have. You know what chor those Indian American (N.R.I.) doctors are, and those high high bills... and Nisha can't get enough special appearance nach gana roles in movies to pay for the bills, oops that's Raveena's real life career, not reel life... either way, she agrees to marry the smooth N.R.I., Rahul (Inder Kumar), who is also filthy rich, as all N.R.I.s are!! Off she goes, and Prem sings sad songs on his own wedding day, since Nisha ditches him and leaves him to his own guitar.... Until Priya (Rani) dances into his life (must be the "I'll get him one day, Preity!" hangover from the pathetic Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega); Sallu decides to say "Hi! And I'M PREM!!!!!!!" like he so perfectly does in Andaz Apna Apna). Priya is Mona's (Pooja Batra) cousin who comes to visit. Mona is an actress wannabe, who squabbles with Nisha over Akshay Kumar...oops sorry that's real life, not reel life again. Mona also lives next door to Prem, and they always meet outside when they go to hang their clothes to dry, which is once a year, taking into account how little both wear...I guess that works well with the gareeb scenario huh? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Well, Prem and Priya fall for each other, though Priya ditches him for that terrible N.R.I., who ends up being, yes, the suave Inder Kumar again. Two chicks, one guy...guess money can buy anything...? Sheesh, they had to get Inder Kumar of all people to be the rich N.R.I.? Couldn't they have pulled another 'Shahrukh Khan please save Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega from flopping' special appearance?
Meanwhile, Pooja decides to make her grand re-entrance into Prem's life (after dissing him in Andaz Apna Apna, Salman (who was also Prem in A.A.A.) must really feel like he one-up'ed Aamir now, six long years later). Oh, and did I mention that Jackie Shroff plays his drinking buddy? Like we care.
With such a twisted plot, shouldn't we be at the edges of our seat (ready to hit the fast-forward button), I mean, in excitement? Well, the only thing I was excited about was the ending, e.g. leaving the movie theater. *Yawn* The only thing that did interest me was...was....let me think about it. Maybe I'll come up with something...ahhh yes, I got it! Did Salman lose any more of his few hairs left (oh his head, not the shaved chest) throughout the movie shooting?
The plot was interesting, the storyline could have gone places....but didn't..AT ALL. Salman got lucky in Har Dil.... really really lucky.... but we know the golden rule.... that some of the worst movies are hits, and the best movies are usually flops... will this actually become a flop, as it rightfully deserves? Or must we rely on the many of those body-crazy Sallu fans to make a flop, a hit?
Clothing lacks, class lacks, makeup definitely does not lack (gotta really try to make the actresses look....pretty), comedy lacks, suspense lacks, drunk scenes ought to lack, drama lacks, talent lacks, any sort of appeal lacks, good placement of songs lacks, and romance really lacks.