The tagline insists to expect the unexpected. However my advice would be to expect nothing at all! That way, without expectations, there may still be a chance that you will enjoy the movie. This is not the same Pankuj Parashar who made entertaining films like Jalwa and Chaalbaaz. This is the Pankuj who lost touch with reality and made the atrocities Raajkumar and Himalayputra. Tumko Na Bhool Payenge is inspired by the Hollywood film The Long Kiss Goodnight, here Pankuj turns the main lead into a male and does the unthinkable. He turns the plot of a mediocre film into a complete disaster.

The film begins in Rajasthan where we meet Vir (Salman Khan). He´s the one and only son of Thakur Punya Pratap Singh and his wife (Sharat Saxena and Nishighandha Wad). He´s the apple of their eye and they love him to death. Vir is a simple village boy who leads a happy go lucky life along with his girlfriend Muskaan (Diya Mirza) a simple but bubbly village girl, who is quite naive at times (and always dressed like a villiage runway model) . Vir and Muskaan are getting ready to marry but Vir begins sufferring from starange visions. He is chased by army commandos and big dogs, he gets these strange premonitions every once in a while, but lately they´ve been getting more prominent. Vir sustained a childhood injury when he hurt his head and as a result he´s been afflicted with temporary amnesia, but that is not the reason for his strange visions. So what could it be? Well there are a whole host of cliched ideas. Maybe it´s a long lost twin, or maybe it´s reincarnation, well whatever it is Vir can´t figure it out. That is until his wedding day when his life falls apart all at once. The Thakur and his wife explain that they found him in a river a few years back and took them in as their own son, he hears this after being attacked by a gang of goons. The Thakur and his wife lost their son (Arbaaz Khan) in a war and decided that by taking in this mysterious stranger, the void in their lives would be filled. Vir can´t believe what is going on and embarks on a tumultuous journey to figure out his past. He lands in Mumbai where things get worse. Now he´s got a police officer (Mukesh Rishi) hot on his trail thinking he´s some guy named Ali. And then there is Mehak (Sushmita Sen) who claims to be his ex-girlfriend and Inder (Inder Kumar) who says that he and Ali are friends. So what´s really going on? Do you really want to know? If you do go and watch the movie, the explanation is silly and unbelievable, but I´m too tired to ruin the movie for you guys (watching a brainless entertainer like this one can take a lot out of you, especially when you are confused half the time).

So what is it that makes Tumko Na Bhool Payenge such a horrible movie? Well to begin with Pankaj Parashar has skipped out on any substance possible and devotes each frame to style. One has to commend him, the movie looks amazing, it oozes style and is a visual treat. But that is really not what the audience is looking for, it would have been nice to have a coherent plotline. The film manages to entertain, but not enough to give this film any repeat value. In fact it seems that Pankaj has made two different films here. The first half is light. It´s full of comedy, romance and songs and there is a dash of suspense with the excellently shot flashback sequences. So the film gains potential and the viewer is curious to see what happens. The second half picks up a little more, but completley shifts gear to a more action oriented spy thriller type of film. However one must commend Mahendra Verma on his excellent action sequences in the second half. They are well choreographed and slickly filmed. Pankaj´s major flaw is his inconsitency on so many levels in the storyline. It´s filled with cliches, there is hardly any continuity and many of the scenes are half baked. Technically the best scene is the scene where Salman solves the mystery and pieces his life back together in Mumbai. Otherwise Pankuj seems to have rushed the film (no wonder, it was completed in 4 months). Thomas Xavier´s camera work is amazing. He makes the film look superb. The Bindiya Chamke song is excellently picturized and very colourful. Same goes for the club track Kyon Khanke Teri Choodi where Sushmita dances like the wind. Rumi Jaffrey´s dialouges are horribly written and very inconsistent. How many Rajasthani´s do you know who switch from Hindi to English? Or from that matter even when they speak Hindi it´s in mixed dialects. All in all, the film is filled with panache and no story.

Performance wise there is little to offer here. Salman Khan looks lost and distressed. Although it´s his character who is supposed to look disinterested, it seems that Salman is not actually acting, he must be wondering what the hell this movie is about. His action scenes are well done, he really excels in that aspect. However his comedy and emotional sequences seem forced. The Salman and Aishwariya scene comes across as a cheap publicity gimmick. His transition from dumb villiage boy to the action hero in the city in unconvicning. His leading ladies are no better. Diya looks amazing, especially in the Bindiya Chamke song, she photographs very well and has a confident screen presence. But her performance is comparable to that of a tree (a decked out one at that), she looks great in the background but she´s stiff and wooden when it comes to acting. Her facial and vocal expressions need a lot of work if she wants to go any further in the industry. Sushmita Sen on the other hand makes her silly character believeable. The problem isn´t Sushmita herself, it´s her underdeveloped character. Sush looks mindblowing (check her out in the Kyon Khanke and Eid Mubarak songs), and dances like a dream. Even her silly dialouges are delivered with so much confidence you can´t help but wonder where she gets her inspiration from. Sush is better suited to performance oriented roles, where she can actually show her talent. Either way, it´s Diya in the first half and Sush in the second half. Arbaaz Khan leaves no impact in his short role. Inder Kumar and Salman seems to be competing in a stripping contest showing off their physiques and not enough talent. The Johnny Lever comedy track is horrible and this commedian is suffering from over exposure. Rajpal Yadav is annoying and loud, and it´s such a sad thing too, this man has definite talent. The rest of the supporting cast leaves no impression at all, they seems just as bored with their roles as some of the audience was.

Tumko Na Bhool Payenge suffers on so many levels. Rumi Jaffrey´s lack of coherent script along with Pankaj Parashar´s haphazard direction make the film seem rushed and half baked. The special effects and cinematography add a lot of style to the movie and it´s definitely fun to stare at. But nothing sinks in. The artistes seems just as bored with the movie as the audience is. Although the hot and happening star cast looks great, they don´t act with enough conviction to add to the movie. The action scenes are well carried out, but that is only in the second half. The film could have been so much more, had the technical team actually been motivated enough. Sadly we´re left with what seems to be a majorly underdeveloped product, that manages to entertain you in some portions, but overall falls flat on it´s face.