Producer: Satyendra Pal
Director :Kuku Kohli
*ing: Akshay Kumar, Twinkle Khanna, Amrish Puri, Aroona Irani
Music: Dilip Sen Sameer Sen

Released on : April 16, 1999

Reviewed by: Anjali Abrol
dilwaliji@indolink.com

out of 
Once again, we are blessed with the return of the hit couple, Akki and Twinky... just recently, I was released from the hospital after treatment for "psychological disturbances" caused by Aarzoo and International Khiladi (though the latter was not as traumatizing)....but as due treatment, I am forced to come to terms with reality (read: another potentially hazardous flop- a Bollywood specialty), hence, Zulmi.

I won't prolong the curiosity building up within you...I cannot, for I must get this review over and done with (unfortunately, I can't fastforward through this...)

The story begins many years ago, when Amrish Puri had his Mugambo look, and Dalip Tahil listened to music from the 1990s, and Aroona Irani looked as aged as she does at present (the gray hairs diminish over time). Baba (Dara Singh) is a nice thakar who took Mugambo (the name sounds so much better than his movie name, Balraaj) in under his wing when Mugambo was a bacha (thab, Mugambo khush hua), and Mugambo worships him. Dalip is an underworld don who comes to Baba's grandson Nehal's birthday party, begs for forgiveness for his sins, and kills off Baba and Nehal's father (if this is what he does when he is being good, I don't think I want to know what his sins are...). Baba makes Mugambo promise to raise Nehal (Milind Gunaji, the Nana Patekar wannabe) as his own son--the whole dying scene. He foolishly promises, and they all rush to the hospital. Yes, except for Nehal's mother, who never reaches the hospital, isn't killed or kidnapped, just *poof* disappears (NOW do you understand why I am mentally disturbed by these movies?).

Mugambo khush nahin hua. He runs to Dalip's house and breaks his legs (and gives Dalip the name Langra). His fight moves almost made me wish that Akki had a guest appearance, and Mugambo was the asli hero (back from the DAY!).

Langra goes to jail, Mugambo's kid, Twinky, and Nehal grow up and both are spoiled in very different ways. Nehal and his gunda buddies try to rape Akki's sister, Akki tries to save her but is beaten unconscious, and before she is raped, she kills herself. On the other hand, Twinky tries to run over Akki, and so begins their love-hate relationship.

Meanwhile, some random girl is standing at one of the side vendor's stalls, and some disgusting morons pick on her. She marches right up to them, the head gunda puts his hand on her shoulder, and she says "Haath choro. Mai kehti hu haath choro!". If he has his hand on her shoulder, then where is her hand???? Ahhh, it was a comedic scene. Anyways, they try to kidnap her, she screams, Akki stops traffic to save her, and takkars with Mugambo's car...after seeing Akki's taaqat, Mugambo khush hua, and takes him home to feed and house him (and to be the angrakshak of his spoiled brat, Twinky).

Langra is released from jail and calls up Mugambo to threaten him and his family. Mugambo khush nahin hua. Nehal is sent off to some remote place for business (his and Mugambo's). Twinky hates Akki, Akki thrives on the fact that Twinky is annoyed, and Mugambo khush hua.

This that and everything else happens (watch any love-hate movie, its all the same), and alas, they fall in love, and Mugambo bahut khush hua. Their moment of passion heat whatever is utterly idiotic...Fabio, move over, another pair of morons are here to take your place. Everything's fantastic...until Nehal returns, and Akki and Nehal meet... and fight...and fight...and fight.

The rest of the movie is webbed with Akki's hatred for Nehal and his vow for revenge, Akki's loyalty to Mugambo and his family, Akki and Twinky's love, Mugambo's loyalty to Baba and to his own family....you get the idea. It's also sprinkled with awful dances, pathetic attire (the little t-shirts errrr dresses for Twinky), horrific makeup (dark purple is such a natural blush color), traumatizing hairstyles (Twinky prancing around in tight pigtails is pretty frightening), bad acting on the most part (though NO ONE can beat Mugambo), big slipups, and great stunts.

Slipups? Ha! One of the many examples is when Twinky and Akki are in the water, dodging bullets, and in one frame, they are underwater, and in the next, they are on the motorcycle. Amazing. Stunts ho tho aise! Then they are on the motorcycle, still dodging bullets (notice that Akki nor Twinky watch the road for even a minute), and then they miraculously reach a forest and are hiding behind one the many trees. Akki uses his mirror sunglasses to look at where the gunda is standing with his big bad gun. That was quite smart, except where Akki got the mirror sunglasses-- he wasn't wearing them at the beach nor on the motorcycle, he was wearing the normal dark lenses. Oh right! The mirror sunglasses were hanging on the tree limb! What was I thinking!? Forgive me for being so uncreative ! Basically, the movie is reeking with slipups--in essence, it's worth watching the movies for the movie gone wrong than the quality (lackthereof) of it.

Acting...well, Akki, I didn't expect much from, Twinky was as annoying as usual, Milind Gunaji is a natural jerk, Aroona Irani has the same Maa role, and Mugambo is just the best.

The positive points... the stunts. It's Akki's usual superb stunts, but for some reason, his expertise stood out (due to the lack of quality in the other aspects of the movie, such as ACTING, DANCING, etc). In addition, the scene where Twinky is dancing like a complete moron in the middle of the night to try to disturb Akki (that was quite pointless, since the day before, Akki had told the gardener that he could not sleep the NIGHT before, NOT DAY before, so naturally, an insomniac is going to be awake at night, right?), and Akki rips her carseat and uses the cotton as earplugs.

The songs were okay, nothing spectacular, some more sillier than others, one or two hits, and the dances did nothing to improve the situation. *Fastforward*

Okay, well, I am bored of writing--to write about all of the slipups and negative points of the movie would take you longer to read than to watch the actual movie. Honestly speaking, I spent the last hour of the movie fastforwarding and reading a magazine...something I rarely do. And I must comment that the ending is so melodramatic and silly, I can actually say that the ending ruined the movie even more.

The foundation of the movie, about Akki's sister's almost rape and suicide, is so disgusting, it's amazing the movie is actually rooted from such bakwaas. The day Bollywood stops looking at women in such a degrading, submissive, and disgusting manner is the day that they will be able to make more QUALITY movies rather than QUANTITY. To put it into prospective, and to make the days pass easier until Bollywood grows up, make light of the situation as my friends and I did...as you watch the scenes where Nehal is trying to chase Akki's sister, giving her money and she, in turn, slapping him, and then he picking her up and kidnapping her as she screams, imagine four girls picking up a guy, kidnapping him, and he screaming for his sister, and his sister melodramatically jumping on a motorcycle to save him as the four gunde women take him to some deserted building...and THAT'S when you will realize how UTTERLY STUPID AND CHEAP our movies are....and it's also a pretty funny thought...Twinky jumping on a motorcycle to go save Nehal from Akki's sister and her three gangster girlfriends. Hahaha.

Verdict: Zulmi: His Passion...His Destiny...His Revenge...our pain...our agony...our anguish. *Mugambo khush hua yah na hua....hum khush nahin hai!!!!!!*