A tale of love across the borders between India and Pakistan, "Dil Pardesi Ho Gayaa", is a challenging film. It is challenging because here truly is a film that breaks new ground in utter stupidity. Completing the viewing of this film was very hard as I painfully cringed and at one point, almost vomited, through the whole unforgettable experience.
Director Saawan Kumar has found two new ´actors´ (and I use the term loosely) in debutants
Saloni Aswani and Kapil Jhaveri. They are gorgeous young things with perfect skin and great teeth. But it looks like Saawan Kumar could not be bothered about making them act. Kapil is Arjun, an Indian who is worried about his brother (Ashutosh Rana), a man who has been captured by the Pakistani army. You see, Ashutosh Rana has been arrested for hamming too much and ruining the Pakistani army´s enjoyment as they sit down to watch pirated Indian dvds. Arjun whooshes all the way to Pakistan and pretends to be a Muslim guy called Salman. Huh? Please please bear with me for a second. I must get my sick bag out because I am beginning to feel queasy while recounting the synopsis.
So, the story goes as thus: Salman tries to save his brother but falls in love with Rukhsar (Saloni) after saving her from a fire. Rukhsar is the daughter of an army man, played by an embarrassingly sincere Amrish Puri. Rukhsar and Salman fall in love and get all wibbly wubbly wobbly with each other. They´ve already decided that they´ll be the next Heer Ranjha. So, when everybody is against them, they actually ask to be killed. The film ends with India and Pakistan making peace on the border.
The romance leads are very superficial in their acting. Saloni Aswani just smiles. Even her smile is one-dimensional. Somebody should tell her that it is possible to smile without showing your entire dental history. Kapil Jhaveri just smirks and maybe he might frown every now and then.
Now that Saddam Hussein has been caught, the hunt for Osama Bin Laden has got even more intensive. If anybody wants to know where he is, just watch this film and spot Prem Chopra looking eerily like Bin Laden. Aha, so that´s where he´s been all these years. Terrorising people in Afghanistan and Pakistan instead of playing villains in Bollywood films. Since the Taliban government collapsed, I guess Prem Chopra had more time on his hands to make a comeback. Mukesh Rishi is the worst of the lot. Working in Sunny Deol films has not done any favours for his acting talent as he seems to shout more than ever. Technically, the entire film is shoddy with dire editing and sequences where scenes just don´t seem to make sense (where dream scenes get confused with what is actually happening).
My nomination for the most unintentionally hilarious moment in the film:
Rukhsar is attempting to find out what her father´s reaction would be if he found out that she is in love with an Indian.
Rukhsar: "Abu, agar main tumhare farz aur watan ke beech mein aagayi to (Father, what would happen if I came between your duty and your country)?"
Abu (Amrish Puri serious and sincere, twitching his eyebrows): "To main tujhe goli maar doonga (So I will shoot you)"
Rukhsar (delighted and showing her dental records): "Oh! That is just like my father!"
Hmm, this is what we call father-daughter bonding. Yuck. If you must watch this one, then all I can do is warn you about the possible health hazards (ie. headache, sickness, exasperation, over-sweating). Good luck.